Funny Hasband And Wife Joks In English

Funny Hasband And Wife Joks In English

Funny Husband And Wife Jocks In English:

Latest Jokes Husband And Wife Jocks

Wife: Why dogs don't marry?.
Husband : Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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Now a Days!!
Position of Husband is like a Split A.C,
No matter how loud he is outside,
But inside the house
He is designed to remain silent, cool & controlled by hhhhh.
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new husband wife jokes in english - Definition of Husband: A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness!
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Wife to Husband: Will you take me out for dinner in the evening?
Your options are:
A) YES
B) A
C) B
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Doctor patient's husband: How your wife feeling today?
Husband: She is now okay doctor...coz she fought with me in the morning.


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A wife sent a SMS to her husband.
Wife: Hi Baby
Husband: Hi Darling(Sending Failed)
Wife: Are you there?
Husband: Yes, yes, darling, I am here.(Sending Failed)
Wife: Are you ignoring me or what?
Husband: Honey, I am not. I am trying to reply you!(Sending Failed)
Wife: It's over... don't ever talk to me again.
Husband: Ja Mar!(Message Sent)


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Father to son: hey son! Why is your mother sitting so silent today??
.
.
.
.
Son: nothing dad.!!!!
she asked forlipstick and i heard favistick. Father: god bless you my dear son..
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Husband: Do U Know The Meaning
Of WIFE.?
It Means Without Information
Fighting Everytime..
.
Wife: No Darling,
It Means.. With Idiot For Ever..!
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latest funny jokes:

Women starts with "W"
Because all Q start with "W"
Who?
Why?
What?
When?
Which?
Whom?
Where?
Wife..?
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When husband breaks a glass.
Wife: Break everything. Break all these bottles... break the kitchen... break the house... just break everything!
And when wife breaks a glass.
Wife: Who kept this glass here?.......................very funny husband wife jokes in english
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Jeeto was trying to train a dog.
Santa: You will never succeed in making that dog obey you.
Jeeto: Darling it's only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with you in the beginning!
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Wife: Can u help me in the gardening ?
Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener ?
Wife: Can u fix the door handle ?
Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter ?
In the evening, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.
Husband: Who did all this ?
Wife: Our neighbour.
But he gave me 2 options.....
Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.
Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger.
Wife: What do u think I am.......McDonalds ?!!
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Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess:
"Will you marry me ?"
The Princess said NO.
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles; went fishing
and hunting; played golf; dated women half his age; drank beer and scotch;
always had enough bank balance; he even left the toilet seat up and towel
on the bed whenever he wanted.
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I'm not saying my wife's voice is annoying;
But right now... I'm really jealous of deaf people!
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Very funny Equality Law:
The time taken by a wife when she says I will be ready in 5 minutes to go outside
is exactly equal to the time taken by a Husband when He says “I will be home honey in 5 minutes"
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Husband: Do U Know The Meaning
Of WIFE.?
It Means Without Information
Fighting Everytime..
.
Wife: No Darling,
It Means.. With Idiot For Ever..!
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All Husbands are like Bluetooth.
Always connected to wife when she is around.
But
The moment wife is Away,
They automatically start searching new devices.
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Women are like Fruits...
Every one has its unique colour, shape, aroma and taste....
Problem is with men...!
They want
FRUIT SALAD..!!husband wife jokes in English
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Dear Government,
Kindly consider Woman Shopping Bills as an Investment Proof.
From
Helpless Husband
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Aadmi dost se: "yar aisi bv ko kya kahenge jo khubsurat ho, samajhdar ho, baat manay aur kabhi naraz na ho?"
Dost: "afwah"
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very funny husband wife jokes in english-
Banta: How the word "Wife" was invented?
Santa: They took the first two and last two letters of "Wildlife"!
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Husband:" Hamari 10th Aniverasrypar Me Tumhe..
.
.
ANDAMAN NIKOBAR ISLAND Le Jaaunga
.
.
.
Wife:" Wow..Aur 25th Aniversary Par.. ??
.
.
.
Husband:" Tumhe Wapas Lene Aaunga......................husband wife jokes in english

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Police Inspector: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?
Husband: The thief was spending less than my wife.
Inspector: Then why are you reporting it now?
Husband: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!
$fresh new husband wife jokes in english very funny$
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Husband sent an sms to wife:
thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What ever
i am is only because of u, u r my angel thanks for coming in my life and making
it worth living. You're great.
She replied that sms: pee li na ? Ab chup chap ghar aa jao.. Daro mat..
Kuchh nahi bolungi..! !Husband: thank you.
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If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your wife!
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Definition of Honeymoon:
a man's last holiday
before he starts working
for a new boss !!
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Santa: I was a dude before marrying.
Banta: And what are you now?
Santa: Now I'm subdued!.......................funniest husband wife jokes ever
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Two Golden rules of Very Happy Marriage
1-The wife is always right.
2-When you feel she is wrong slap yourself and read rule number 1 again.
Boys By the way this rules also applied on girlfriend.
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Wife is angry as hubby stands too close to a beautiful girl in bus, girl slaps him for pinching.
Hubby to wife: I swear I didn't .
Wife: I know, I did it.
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Husband sent an sms to wife:
thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What ever
i am is only because of u, u r my angel thanks for coming in my life and making
it worth living. You're great.
She replied that sms: pee li na ? Ab chup chap ghar aa jao.. Daro mat..
Kuchh nahi bolungi..! !Husband: thank you.

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